


What Is and What Should Never Be

by PatriciaMiller



Category: Pretty Little Liars
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-05
Updated: 2018-01-08
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:28:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26790679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PatriciaMiller/pseuds/PatriciaMiller
Summary: Toby can tell her apart from her twin because that's just how much he loves her, and when they are finally free from Alex, Toby needs Spencer to know how he feels about her and he needs to finally act on his feelings.A Spoby story, set after Alex gets arrested in 7x20ABANDONED!
Relationships: Toby Cavanaugh/Spencer Hastings
Kudos: 1





	1. I'll Never Forget Your Smell Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi this is marked as finished even though this isn't really the end and im sorry for that but honestly I don't think I will ever finish it, I wrote this in 2017 when I loved PLL but since then every time I remember it it just makes me angry cause I really hated the ending so I don't think I can ever be in a place where I wanna write PLL fanfic again, sorry!

Toby's POV

"Drop it" I yell running in to their fight

"Toby it's me Spencer"

"Don't listen to her!" I point the gun back and fort between them.

"Look at me, you know me" I look back at everyone else to see.

"You guys come on! Seriously after everything that we've been through!" Says the same one who spoke before

"Oh my god, you really do believe what you're saying!?, you're crazy!" The other responds

Then Spencer starts crying and begs please, that's Spencer, that's gotta be her, I know that's my Spencer so I put the gun away and get closer to not-Spencer

I hear Spence sob again when I stand in front of her twin for a couple of seconds, this bitch really thinks she won, doesn't she?

I grab her hands behind her back once I'm confident she won't attack back

"Tell me your favorite poem from the book you gave me" the twin can't know that, only Spencer would know what book and what poem

I look right at the twin waiting for an answer when i hear the first sentence

I look back at Spencer reciting the poem, she smiles at the end, I knew it, that's my Spencer.

Then some cop comes in because Mona claims she called 911, she takes this bitch and handcuffs her and I run right back to my Spencer and hold her tight in my arms, I hear a couple more sobs escape her mouth.

"Please don't let me go"

"I won't, don't worry I won't"

I pull her even closer to me and smell her hair

"I'll never forget your smell again" I say and she chuckles, then pulls away from our hug

"Can we get out of here?" She says wiping her tears

"Of course"

She turns around and all the girls, Mona and Caleb hug her, then Ezra does too and thank her for saving his life.

We all get back up to the house and surprisingly enough there aren't any cops, ambulances or press, I don't understand why but I'm glad, its probably better for Spencer.

"I think I should take you to the hospital"

"No, no please don't, Toby I'm fine, I swear"

"Spence" I said signing

"Look I swear, please in the hospital they'll ask too many questions"

"Okay do you want me to take you home, then?"

"No, that'll be worse, my mom will ask even more questions"

"You know you have to tell her eventually, right?"

"Yeah, I just want a break from all this, just one night"

"So where do you wanna go?"

"Could you take me to the lost woods?"

"Sure, but Spence"

"Yeah?"

"Call your mom, she's probably worried"

"Okay, I will" she says, then I guide her to my truck (well her truck) and let everyone know she wants to spend the night at the lost woods, aria says she'll take Ezra to the hospital, and everyone else just goes home, I assume.

When we get to the hotel, Spencer goes to the lobby and goes behind the desk.

"Spence, you should come upstairs and sleep"

"Yeah, I know, I'm just checking for an empty room I could take"

"What are you taking about?!? No way, no, come to my room, I'm not gonna let you be alone tonight"

"Toby your room only has one bed"

"I'll sleep on the floor, I don't care, I'm not gonna leave you alone"

"Okay that's sweet, but I'm not letting you sleep on the floor"

"Look just come upstairs we'll figure it out, come on, you look exhausted"

"I am" she says chuckling

"Let's go then" I say holding my arm out for her, she gives up and follows me up the stairs.

I let her in and the first thing she does is lay down on the bed

"Oh my god, I'm so tired"

"You look tired, go to sleep"

"Where are you gonna sleep?"

"Who cares? Spence its okay to think about your needs before everyone else's for once"

"Look I'm not gonna sleep until you promise me you won't take the floor"

"Well I'll sleep on the couch I guess" I look back at her and she gives an are-you-shitting-me look

"Don't be ridiculous you're sleeping on this bed. Period"

"You don't mind?"

"Of course not and I swear to god Tobias if I wake up and you're sleeping on the floor, I'm gonna be so mad"

"I bet" I say chuckling "do you wanna borrow some of my pyjamas?"

"If its not a problem" I open my suitcase and the first one I see is blue just like the one I wore when Spencer and I spend the night at the Edgewood motorcourt, so I hold it up and ask "Top or bottom?" She looked up at me and laughed

"Speaking of, I never gave you back that top, did I?"

"I don't think so, but its okay, you looked better in it than I did"

"Yea, you said so" she says chuckling

"Here you can have both this time" I said handing the pyjamas to her

"Just get me the top, for old times sake, besides its not like it'd fit in these" she says looking at the pants and laughing

"Okay, I'll change in bathroom and just tell me when you're done and I can walk out" I said still chuckling a little from her previous joke

"Alright"

I walk into the bathroom and once I'm done changing, I sit on the border of the bathtub and get a good look at the place

Damn, Spence really did a great job renovating this place, it didn't hit me how great it looked until I realize all the effort she put in every small detail, everything's perfect, just like her.

"Spence, you ready?" I ask knocking on the door

"Yeah, yeah sorry you can come out" she says and once I walk out, I see she's facing away from me and just putting on the shirt, she's just in her underwear right now, only for a few seconds until my shirt falls down on her body, then she turns around and I'm still staring like a perv but once she smiles at me, I can't stop myself from smiling back.

She sits down on the bed and gestures for me to take the space next to her

"Do you wanna finish that game?" She says pointing at the scrabble board that I left on my nightstand

"Maybe tomorrow, you should get some sleep"

"I think we need to talk about some things Toby"

"I agree but we can do it tomorrow, come on honey, go to sleep" after I say that she lays down on the bed and chuckles

"What?" I said laughing a little too

"You called me honey" she says smiling and then she closes her eyes and not long after, she's already asleep, which makes me confident enough to lean down and kiss her forehead


	2. I Love Spending Time With You

Toby's POV

I wake up earlier than I thought I would since the clock in front of me read 8:02 AM, then I look over to my side and noticed Spencer holding onto my waist, I have my arm around her as well, I don't know when this happened, I wasn't even planning to sleep on the bed, much to Spencer's dismay, I was gonna Sleep on the floor once she fell asleep but I guess I dozed off before I could, I didn't even get a chance to change, I probably should, I should go get Spence some breakfast for when she wakes up but I really don't wanna move, I wanna stay here, holding her. is that wrong?

before i could decide what to do about it, spencer slowly wakes up as well, first thing she does is smile at me.

"Hey"

"Hey good morning" I answer

"You didn't change"

"Nope guess I fell asleep before I could" I said and get up from the bed, then Spencer sits up and starts stretching.

"Spence if you wanna sleep a bit longer, that's okay"

"No its fine, I'm hungry anyways"

"Oh okay, do you wanna go get breakfast?"

"I mean, you don't have to, you can just drop me off at home and I'll make something, you probably have better things to do than babysit me"

"I'm not babysitting you, I'm looking after you, but if you wanna be alone, I-"

"No no no no that's not what I meant! I love spending time you you, even if you're babysitting me, Its just I don't wanna bother you"

"Spencer you're not bothering at all" I said walking closer to her and running my hand up and down her arm "I love spending time with you too, so breakfast?"

"Yeah" she says smiling "but I'm gonna change"

"Yeah, of course" I say chuckling as she walked into the bathroom

Once she's ready, we go outside and she gets in the passenger seat on the truck

Spencer's POV

"Hey how did you steal MY truck by the way?"

"You left the keys at the counter in the lost woods a couple days ago, I kept forgetting to give them to you, and then when- um you know when Mona found you and Ezra, I need a car to get there, so I just took it, I'm sorry, are you mad at me?" He said and looks at me a little worried

I chuckled a bit then answered "am I mad at you because you took my keys when I forget them to stop someone else from stealing and then used the truck to save me? Yeah I'm furious" I sarcastically and look at Toby who just laughed and started driving.

He parked at the brew and we got out of the truck, ordered and once our coffee and muffins were ready get got back to the truck

"I think I should take you home now"

"Yeah, probably" we drive to my house in a comfortable silence

"Do you wanna stay a while?" I ask once we're standing outside the barn

"I'd love to" he says smiling, I open the door and we both sit on thee couch and start eating and drinking what we just bought

Toby's POV

"So there are a couple things we need to talk about"

"Yeah" I said looking down

"Let me go first, Alex told me-"

"Wait who?"

"Alex, the evil twin"

"Oh right she has a name" I say chuckling

"Yeah" she says also chuckling a bit too

"Anyways she told me that a couple times she- um she pretended to be me"

"Yeah, I know"

"You do?!"

"Yeah" I say looking down

"Toby I'm so sorry-"

"What?" I ask

"I'm so sorry for what she did to you"

"Spencer what are you talking about?!"

"She- she tricked you into having sex with her and-"

"Yeah, I know that too Spencer but I don't understand why you're apologizing, I am the one who didn't realize it wasn't you, I should be the one apologizing"

"No! You should not, Toby she- she took advantage of you, she violated you, she-"

I cut her off by holding her chin up to look at me

"I'm sorry I didn't notice"

"I'm sorry she did that to you" by the time this conversation's over and we hug, we both have tears in our eyes

"Can we talk about something else?" I say smiling and wiping the tears from her cheeks

"Yeah" she says laughing a little

"What about that horseback riding WE never had"

"What about it?"

"I'll like to have it"

"Oh you wanna have a date with me?" She said trying to sound flirty and sexy but there were still some tears in her eyes, which made me laugh

"Yes I do" I answered still laughing

"Alright" she said as she smiles and finally wipes all her tears away

"How about we just hang out in here and watch TV or something? If it'd okay with you, I mean its your house I-"

"Yeah, that sounds cool" she says and stands up "I'm just gonna go over to the main house and tell my mom what happened and that I'm okay"

"Alright, I'll make you some breakfast till then?"

"Perfect" she says and walks out the door

Spencer's POV

I walk into the house and see my mom in the kitchen counter

"Hey"

"Spencer! Honey where have you been?!"

"Sorry I just wanted to kind of get away from the world last night"

"What exactly happened Spencer"

"Long story short, I have an evil twin who has been playing the A game ever since Charlotte died and a few days ago, she kidnapped me to take over my life but then Toby and the girls caught her so her new plan was to kill me with an axe but I got away and then last night I went to the lost woods with Toby after he saved me" I say quickly and she just stares at me in shock

"Man you're good at recaps!" She says and we both laugh

"Yea, you could say that"

"Oh my god honey are you alright?" She asks getting serious again

"Yeah, I guess so" I say sitting down on the couch

"So yesterday outside the law office?-"

"That wasn't me"

"Oh for dear God, I can't believe I didn't notice Spence I am so sorry"

"It's okay mom"

"No it's not, I can't believe this, i-"

"Mom, really its fine, no one noticed anyway" I say looking down

"Spencer just because nobody noticed doesn't mean it was okay, we should've noticed and you have every right to be upset"

"I can't just get mad at everyone I know" I didn't even realize the tears that started streaming down my face

"Oh honey" was my mom's only answer before she hugged me.

"I'm not mad at you, I'm really not"

"Thanks"

"I- um Toby is waiting for me in the barn so" I said after hugging her again and standing up

"So you and Toby ha?"

"Hopefully" I say chuckling and walking out the door.


	3. Are You Inviting Me to Ride My Horse At My Stable?

Spencer's POV

"hey sorry I took so long" I say walking into the barn

"Oh that's okay, it gave me just enough time to finish your waffles" he says holding the plate up

"You're the best" I say sitting down on the counter

"Did everything go okay with your mom?"

"Yeah, great actually" I say and it sounds more insecure than I thought, I don't know why, it did go great with my mom

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, yeah, it went great really, I don't know why that sounded so insecure" I say chuckling a little.

A couple days later

So aria and Ezra rescheduled their wedding for today, I still feel guilty about what happened to their wedding, I hope aria doesn't blame it on me

"Hey" I say walking in

"Spence hi" aria said hugging me "are you okay? You look a little.... I don't know....scared?"

"Oh no, I'm fine" I say chuckling a little "Sorry I'm late"

"Oh don't worry you're really not" aria says and turn around to take her dress from behind some mirror

"What do you guys think?"

"Oh my god!" Ali says

"Aria its gorgeous" I exclaim in awe

"thanks"

"why didn't you wear the same one as before?" Hanna asked

"i was scared it would give me bad luck"

"well i like this one better anyways" Alison says from behind and i don't know why, i suddenly feel terrible because i didn't see the other dress, because i wasn't there in her first wedding, even if there wasn't a wedding after all.

"Spence? are you sure you're okay honey?" Emily asked sitting down next to me

"yeah, yeah, im fine, really guys, don't worry about me"

"Are you sure?" Hanna asked

"Yeah, yeah and why are we worrying about me? Its aria's wedding!"

"Spence-"

"No, come on, here look at her gorgeous dress, where are our gorgeous dresses?" I ask trying to change the subject

"Oh! Right! Here! They're right over here!" Aria says happily walking over and grabbing 4 bridesmaids dresses

"Here let me help, they're taller you" I say getting up, grabbing the dresses and chuckling a little, the rest of them laugh too.

"Aria they're gorgeous!"

"You guys should put them on, we're kind of on a schedule here" aria said jokily and we all start getting change, our hair and make up were already done so all we really had to do was pit the dresses on

About an hour later the wedding started, we all walked down the aisle with aria but we didn't stand up in the altar with her.

"You may now kiss the bride" aria and Ezra kiss and the rest of us stand up and clap as they walk back down the aisle

"Hey!" I hear someone say from behind me after aria and Ezra leave and the guest start walking out of the church

"Toby hey"

"You look gorgeous" he says and I blush a little "i- mean you- you know in the dre- you know as-as a bridesmaid I mean" I says nervously which only makes me blush even more

"Thank you" I say smiling "You don't look so bad yourself"

"Well I've been told I clean up alright" he says and we both chuckled

"So... Um I don't know how to ask you ask you this without making it awkward but um last Sunday.."

"Oh yea that wasn't me either" I said looking down

"Yea I figured, the horse jumped up and we never got to ride, which is actually a good thing because now I can go with you like I wanted"

"Are you inviting me to ride my horse at my stable?"

"No, I'm asking you for the date we didn't have last Sunday, because I don't know about you, but I wanna learn how to ride a horse"

"You do?"

"Yes, I do and I want you to teach me" he says and holdes my hand when he says _you_

"It would be my pleasure, Friday?"

"I'll see you there" he says smiling and walking back to his car while I go to catch up with the girls

A couple days later (I guess?)

"I was looking online and your first class seats are bigger than our bedroom Oh and you have to get the duck, if they're flying it from Peking..." Hanna said

"Han, that's how the duck us prepared. Its not actually from Peking"

"You don't know that for sure Spencer"

"Yes I do, because Peking is now Beijing"

"Well then they should call it Beijing duck"

"I'm gonna get the duck han" aria says and Hanna smiled

"We heard Toby is sticking around" Emily said

"Oh yeah. Jason said that he's got that veteran's program in Philly" Ali continued

"Yeah, if it works out, they should get a lot of homeless people off the streets" I said

"Yeah, and Toby us gonna keep climbing under your sheets" aria says and everyone else laughs

"I'm sorry are you honeymoon drunk?" I say smiling and reaching to grab her shoulder

"No, I'm happy for you" she answers hugging me

"We all are" Ali says as aria and I break apart and then she and I hug a little

"I've always loved you two together" Emily says and I smile

"Is it actually possible that all of us are happy at the same time?"

"Don't say that out loud! Its a jinx!" I say

"Oh, well. Then I guess I can't say this other thing" Hanna says with a smirk

"Uh yes you can" Emily exclaimed waiting for the gossip

"No, I promised Caleb I wouldn't say anything"

"Okay just because you're married doesn't mean that you can have secrets" Ali says as we stop walking

"All right well.... Its a little early but..... I'm pregnant" we all looked at her schocked and then she and aria hug, after they break apart Hanna and Emily hug and by the time I look up all the others are crying, can't say I blame them because so am I.

"The car's here"

"You're gonna send us a lot of photos, right?" Emily asks

"Yeah"

"Oh and don't forget to take pictures of all of your hotel rooms" Hanna continues

"Guys why is everybody crying I'm leaving for 3 weeks?!" Aria says shedding a few tears herself

"It feels like this is the end of something" Alison says

"Love you guys" aria says right before getting into her cab

"Love you too" we all answer


	4. Just Tell Me How Can I Make You Feel Better

Aria gets on the car with Ezra and drives away to the airport, all her friends wait for the car to turn a corner before they decided to look back the coffee shop they just walked out of.

"Well I don't know about you guys, but I could defiantly have another cup of coffee" Spencer says as all her friends laugh through their tear-stained faces.

"Yeah, lets go no one likes it when Spencer is coffee sober for too long" Ali said chuckling and then all of them laugh again.

"Hey!" Spencer exclaim playfully hutting her in the shoulder

"Well I can't have coffee but who's paying for my brownie?" Hanna said

"Umm you are, Hanna" Emily answered and the young girls chuckled once more as they headed back into the brew.

We walk back in and sit down on the table on the corner like we always do

"So speaking of pregnancy.." Emily said and looked at Spencer suspiciously

"What? I'm not pregnant!" Spencer answered defensibly and a little confused to be honest, who would she even be pregnant with?!

"But maybe you'll be soon?..."

"What? Em no! What are you talking about?!"

"Emily wants to ask if you and Toby are banging but she's worried about being too forward, I on the other hand don't have that issue, so did the Spoby express pass through sex town already?" Hanna says quickly and confidently

"omg what is the matter with you guys!??!" Spencer exclaimed laughing

"So no then..?" ali said

"None of your bussiness!"

"So basically no" Emily repeated

"We're taking it slow, okay?"

"Why?" Hanna asked

"Well we've both been through a lot"

"Maybe you guys can help each other get over it" ali said

"Trust me sleeping with me will defiantly not help him" Spencer says making emphasis on the defiantly not

"Why not?"

"Its a long story, i- look I've gotta go, see you later" Spencer said standing up and walking away with the coffee in her hand

"Spencer wait" Ali yelled out after her

"Spence we just got here!" Said Hanna then but Spencer was already out the door

"Do you think she's okay? Do you think toby's okay?" Emily asks

"I hope so because if they're not okay, i dont know how we could help them" ali says looking down

"Yeah" both hanna and emily answer sadly

By the time the conversation had come to this point spencer was sitting in her car but she hadnt moved an inch, she just sat there looking out into the streets of rosewood, as many people smiled and laughed and she just sat there, pathetic and alone, she looked over the Hastings and Hastings office and remembered that just a couple days ago her own mother had confussed her for alex in that office, and somehow that triggered the memory of, well of everything, when she was locked underground by her own secret evil British twin, when that same bitch had sex with Toby while pretending to be her, when she went to her best friends' wedding (and ruined it) and it still hurt Spencer so much how she felt like she couldn't talk to anyone about all this, not to the girls, because she can't tell them about what happened to toby, not to her mom because she doesn't wanna make her feel guilty and defiantly not to Toby because she doesn't wanna trigger his terrible memories, she felt like it wasnt over, like alex was still pulling the strings, still had some kind of control over her life, and she didnt even need to come back and do anything else, spencer was still being haunted by what she had already done, she was worried that she'd never get over it, that no one would ever get it, and there was really mothing she can do but go home and cry by herself.

Just as soon as spencer started moving the girls walked out the door, to see her driving away, they all agreed to stop by her place later in the afternoon, since they all clearly saw spencer needed them, well maybe not them but she needed someone and they would be there for her.

Spencer got home to the barn, she went to her bedroom and just balled her eyes out, she hadn't cried about all of this before, she couldn't do it down in the bunker in front of Alex and Ezra for obvious reason an then when she got out Toby had always been by her side, and its not that she didn't appreciate his concern, or that she didn't like hanging out wit him practically all day, because she did, in fact she loved it, she loved having someone who cared so much about her well-being (both physically and emotionally) that he wouldn't dare leave her alone, spencer didn't have anyone else like that and after everything that happened with Alex she didn't think she'd have Toby anymore either, it was still hard for her to believe he still wanted to be around her, that he still wanted to look her in the eye, wasn't he the best? she didn't deserve him.

"Spence?"

"ugh great now im hallucinating him" Spencer exclaimed out loud

"no, you're not" Toby said walking into her bedroom

"Toby! oh my god what are you doing here?" spencer said not facing him so she could wipe the tears from her eyes as she got up from her place in the floor next to her bed.

"Spencer its okay you don't have to pretend like weren't crying" he says walking towards her and wrapping his arms around her, as she turned so that her face layed on his chest

"Im sorry im such a mess- i- i didn't't mean for you to see me like this"

"Shhh its okay"

"No its not im supposed to be stronger than this- I-"

"Says who? Spencer you've been through so much, you need to let it all out"

"I just didn't't want to make you remember, you know her and everything she did to you"

"That's okay, im okay, don't worry about me"

"But Toby-"

"Shh you don't need to talk to me, just cry, just let it all out, and if you want you can tell me how you feel or i'll talk to you, just tell how can i make you feel better" Toby said as they pull away from their hug

"Honestly? I just wanna ball my eyes out and i want you to hold me"

"You got it"


	5. Everything Hurts So Much

At 5 pm Toby told Spencer he had to leave because he had the later shift that day, he didn't want to, bit he didn't really have a choice and she understood that, she just thanked him for staying as long as he did and told him not to worry about her, assuring she'd be fine.

Which was a hard for Toby to believe, although in his defense he had spend the last 3 hours holding her as she balled her eyes out.

At around 5:30 Spencer heard a knock on her door, she went to see who it was, she had no tears to worry about anymore, she had let it all out when Toby was here.

Once she opened the door she saw her best friends Emily, Alison and Hanna standing there, she smiled at them and then remembered what a bitch she was to them earlier today.

"Oh guys i totally forgot about today, im so sorry, i was so rude and-"

"No no Spence its okay, were mot mad at you" Emily said

"You're not?"

"Of course not, there was clearly something bothering you, we are just worried about what it is" Hanna said

"Well umm- come on in" Spencer said stepping aside to let them all in, all of her friends took a spot on the couch, spencer sat in a chair across from them

"I need to tell you guys something, i didn't tell you before because i didn't know if Toby would be comfortable with it, but i just talked to him and he said it was okay so ummm"

"What is it? Is something wrong?" Alison asked

"Yeah you could say that"

"Spence if you don't wanna tell us, that's okay" Hanna said

"I think i need to, i- i just, i need you guys, i spend the last 3 hours in the other room with Toby crying, straight on the whole time and i really think that helped and i- i need to talk to you guys about it too, but its important for you to know what she did to tobg"

"She? The evil twin?" Hanna asked, Spencer nodded

"What did she do to Toby?!" Emily continued worried

"She- pretended to be me and she- she slept with him" she said slowly as a few more tears fell down her cheeks

"Oh my god"

"That's terrible"

"How dare she!?"

"I just don't think im over it, you know, everything that haopeed, i haven't gotten over it and im having such a hard time and-" Spencer had to stop herself from continuing because she was sobbing hysterically mow, all 3 of the other girls went over to her and wrapped their arms around the crying girl

"Spence its okay homey you don't have to be over it already, its only been a couple of days" Emily started in an attempt to calm her down

"Yeah, you have a every right to be a little scared or a little upset for a while longer, hell after everything you've been through you should probably have a life pass on this things" Hanna said trying to lighten up the mood

"Thank you guys, i just think i need to talk about it"

"Well we're always here for you" Ali reassured her

"Can i tell you something else sibcerally?"

"Yes"

"Of course"

"Anything"

"Can you promise me you won't feel bad?"

"Yeah, Spence its alright you can tell us anything" Emily said

"I don't wanna make you feel bad or guilty or anything but im- im just really hurt that- umm" Spencer started but stopped talking slowly as if regretting the sentence she was about to begin

"That no one realized it wasn't you" Hanna finished for her

"Yeah, im sorry i just, you know what i shouldn't have mention, its just-"

"No Spencer you're right, you should be mad at us, we should be know, everybody should be know"

"No, no you see that not what i meant and im not mad at you guys or anyone, really i understand, we have the same face, its uncanny, I've seen it, it just, im a little worried that if she ever comes back nobody will be able to tell and i just it makes me feel really- like really"

"Say it Spencer its alright"

"It makes me feel so worthless to think that i could be replaced like that and no one would notice and there's nothing i can ever do to change what happened to i really don't how to get over this and it hurts so much, everything just hurts and i just want it to stop and i don't know how" Spencer continued breaking into more sobs than before

Her best friends understood exactly what she meant, they were still pretty mad at themselves for not recognizing Alex and they really wanted to help their real friend, but she had a point, how could she change those feelings if the worst case scenario had already been proven right? Alex had replaced her and everybody had brought, well except Jenna which is actually kind of worse in a way, all Hanna, Em and Ali wanted to do was help Spencer but they didn't know how, so they just hugged her, and they planned to stay in that hug as long as Spencer needed them to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi this is marked as finished even though this isn't really the end and im sorry for that but honestly I don't think I will ever finish it, I wrote this in 2017 when I loved PLL but since them every time I remember it it just makes me angry cause I really hated the ending so I don't think I can ever be in a place where I wanna write PLL fanfic again, sorry!


End file.
